heloo

So I've decided to take advantage of my school's study abroad program....but who am I trying to kid? That's the whole reason I choose this school! LOL.

Anyways, there are a lot of options....if I go throught the Japanese Studies Center, I have almost 20 colleges to choose from - Aichi, Doshisha, hiroshima, hiroshima city, hitotsubashi, hokkaido, kanazawa, kansai, keio, kyoto, nanzan, nihon, rikkyo, ritsumeikan asia pacific, sophia, Taisho, and waseda university, also university of the ryukyus *phew. stops to take breath* BUT these, for the most part, don't offer language programs and I have to find my own housing. Now, I will obviously still learn Japanese, but I need four years of language CREDITS for my degree. problem, ne?

If I go through the Study Abroad Center, I only have 2 choices - Kobe and Machida. HOWEVER - I stay in prearanged housing, get atomatic credit (no requesting transcripts), get two years of language credits in 1 year, and pay UH tuition.


ARRRGGGHHH!!! I hate hard choices. ^^;; But I'm SOO excited XD.

Oh, yeah - at the moment, I'm leaning towards Machida - partially because my church in CA has a sister church in Machida.

Yep, It's been a while! ^^ I was too busy to update my library for a while, but I just added almost 400 books - bringing me to 1088 XD

Speaking of which, i need to check and see how thirstygirl 's library is coming along! ^^ - thanks again, dear - i love it! XD

So why 400 books in one go?

Well, I hadn't updated for a while, I'm avoiding my homework, and (this is the embarressing part) I decided to add all the "Love Inspired"* books I'd ever read, did a quick search, started adding ..... I was expecting about 100....

It was closer to 285 ^^;;

he. he hee.

ha ha ha

ROFLMAO

lol, I find that both embarressing and hilarious. ^^;;




*"Love Inspired" is a line of Christian novels that come out every month....I started reading them at about 16, but I haven't read any for about a year.

I had to share with you all right away, because you have been so supportive and encouraging. I got my letter from Hawaii today....


Actually, it's a funny story... I went to work at 12 noon today, and I hadn't been there an hour when my sister called and said a letter from hawaii had come. I didn't get off until 9pm, so natually I was really anxious. I asked if my mom or dad could drop it off for me, and Teri (my sis) said she was home alone....and she dosen't drive ^^;;

She offered to read it to me, but....well, whether it was good or bad news, I had to read it myself, ya know? otherwise, I wouldn't be able to believe it. I figured I'd waited a year, I could wait 9 hours.... ^^;;

2 hours latter, I was a wreak. I called my sis to tell her I'd changed my mind and to read it too me, but she wasn't home anymore! I called my dad's cell, and he said that when they came home, they could drop it by. That was at 3pm. Then I called at 4pm. They were almost home, they'd come by soon. I called at 10 till 5pm - they'd hit traffic, it would be 15 minutes. I took my lunch break (I work at a mall). By this time I was pretty much a wreak. I knew my parents would come in through Nordstrom's, so I paced in front of the department store. For 10 minutes, I went back and forth, back in forth....I was so high strung, I was starting to get light headed. Finally, they showed up, gave me the letter. I was shaking so hard I could barely open it, and it took me three tries to get the papers out of the envolope. I saw the first word:

"Congratulations....'

...and I just burst into tears. I had to sit down. I've been telling myself for months that it didn't matter, there was always spring semester, that I'd be fine with it if I didn't get in, I'd just re-apply - I'd nearly convinced myself. It wasn't until I saw that word that I realized just how much I'd wanted this.

I gratuated high school when I was 16. At 19, I realized that I was getting past the age of most college freshmen. Due to money, and frequent moves over several years, I couldn't even attend community college until I was 21 - even then, it was so sporatic that I've only had 3 semesters (though I took a lot of classes to make up for the infrequency of my attendance). But since I was 19, all I wanted was to go to college. By the time I was 21, it was pretty much all I could think of. Every job I took was to save money so I could take a semester of college.

Everything I did, I had to learn the hard way. I didn't know how to apply, who to ask, how to get finacial aid, how to register, how to transfer - anything. I didn't know how to find out what colleges offer what major, how to find the best college for your major, how to find out application requirements. I've spent hours on hold on the phone, and hours crying in frustration.

....and one word made it all worth it. "congratulations....."


I'M GOING TO COLLEGE!!!!!!

So today I was so tired on the way to school (BTW - I drive an hour to school mon. - thur. @ 7am) that I almost pulled over. I don't think it was very safe to be driving in that condition (which is why I am going to sleep in exactly 10 minutes). I do have an Aunt who lives in the same town as my school, and she has offered to let me crash at her place. I can't really on days that i work, (because my work is closer to my house anyways) but i think I'm going to start taking her up on that offer on days I don't work. I'm just so tired!

Point in case - after class today, I did homework for as long as I could stand (no work today, so I was trying to do the next 2 days homework.) Then I took a break, then more homework. Went home, took a 1/2 hour nap, then went to a local coffee shop (it's now 9pm) to read my Philosophy chapter, the only one left....got through the chapter just as the coffee shop was closing and was feeling really good about myself....until I realized I'd read the WRONG DAMN CHAPTER.


^^;;


ROFL - I gave up and came home. It's time to sleep! ^^;;


ps - he emailed back ^^ *silly grin*

^^ I started classes ^^ My philosophy teacher is wonderful - he really makes the subject fasinating, and he leads great discussions. I love going to that class. History is good, though not quite as fun....( I still wish I was in ancient, not american history ^^;; )

My transcripts were resent to Hawaii, so I should hear soon. ^^;; the wait is KILLING me.

Work....I'm surviving. I get homework done on my lunch (and sometimes take a 15 min nap ^^). Luckly, I'm working with some really nice girls. One of them - Mariam - I wish ya'll could meet. If it wasn't for her, this would be a lot harder without the managers!

We got hired the same week, and Mariam has changed so much since then. She is from pakistan, and is my age. When I first met her, she barely spoke. It took me a week to get more than 2 sentances at a time out of her... lol. I found out that even though she had been in retail 5 years, and was a very hard worker, she never tried to move up because she worried about her english. I figured that needed to change. Since I was a CSL (Custormer Sales Lead), I assigned the girls their roles....I started putting Mariam as greeter (I'm so mean ^^;;) - so she HAD to talk to the customers.

Anyways, over the last eight months, me and the other CSL, Tiffiny, have watched Mariam get more and more talkative - we almost fell over the first time she made a joke at our expense, but we loved it! ^^

When our managers both left, we talked to her about trying for promotion to CSL, and Mariam was hesitant at first, but finally decided she wanted to try. Well, all this week she has been training to be a CSL, running the sales floor herself, and I must say she is wonderfull. The first time she was in charge and gave me an order I wanted to hug her ^^ - it's so great to see her confident in both herself, and her english. Though I am sure Tiffiny and I will be sorry we pushed her at times....because now she teases us ALL the time! lol ^^ -- and she's bossy. Always telling me to sleep more, and take less school, and to eat....come to think of it, now she rarely is quiet! I'll miss her a lot when I go away to school ^^ But yeah, she's really helped fill the gap that the managers left, we wouldn't know what to do if she wasn't here.


Today I went to the Fair! I haven't been in five years....I love the fair ^^ I went with my family (who I hadn't seen in like 4 days ^^;;). I left in the afternoon to go get some homework done, but I went back at 8:30 to see the fireworks - so pretty! I love fireworks ^^. and I had a funnel cake (YUMM) oh! and I saw a l'arc~en~ciel cd for sale! isn't that funny? ^^

It was really really nice having the day off and hanging out w the family at the fair ^^ tomorrow it's back to homework and work, but today was a wonderful break!

ARRRGGGHHH - ok, I promise next time I write I will try to say positive things....

BUT TODAY I AM SO FRUSTRATED!!!!

It was first day with no managers - and that wasn't so bad. Store didn't blow up or catch fire. ^^

but O_O !!! Don't people understand manners?

1. just becasue I work retail does not make me a servant, stupid, or anything related to those two.

2. if you want to try on the ENTIRE store, fine - but why leave all the clothes in a crumpled pile on the floor? SILK WRINKLES.

3. I will not risk my job to break policy because you yell at me. So when i say something is against store policy and I can't do it DO NOT YELL AT ME OR I WILL CALL SECURITY.

4. the entire mall cloese at 9. It has since I was 2 years old. it closes at the SAME time EVERY night. and when we turn off the music, lower the gate and start closing registers....THAT IS NOT YOUR CUE TO ENTER THE FITTING ROOMS! ....strangly enough, we like to leave BEFORE midnight.


.....after about 9 years in customer service (started when I was 14) I have come to one conclusion...everyone should by law have to work retail at one point in their life so they understand and treat employees better! We don't have control over store policys, shop coverage or mall closing times, so stop taking it out on us ^^;; especially since we can't yell back ^^;;


... though I can't be too upset. being busy and frustrated kept me from being too sad today. ^^;;

thanks for the replies on the last post.

Actually, I was thinking about it and I know one of the reasons I'm so down right now. this time last year one of my best friends died in a car crash. I miss him all the time, but as june 18th get closer and closer, in the back of my mind I get a little sadder.





the first time I ever met Ethan I was 16 and he was 15. We meet in the church nursery - we were both watching our little sisters, both named Grace. He was tying a plastic Barney to a fake train track while his sister watched in horror..... I knew we were gonna be best friends.
( He was goofy )

this is something I wrote the week he died:

"Dear Ethan,

I'm sorry I never called

I thought I had tomorrow

I'm sorry I never wrote

I guess it just wasn't my way

I would've told you what our friendship meant to me,

but I let embarrassment stop me

I would've told you I cared

I guess I figured you knew

I'm sorry I let distance separate us

because now that distance is impassable

Most of all, I'm sorry I let so many yesterdays pass me by



Because you ran out of tomorrows"

Ethan - I miss you! But I promise I'll keep trying, kay? you made me believe that being smart was worth something, so I won't give up.

hello, everyone....mind if I vent for a few minutes?

Ah. I am a little burnt out ^^;;

Both of my managers put in their two weeks notice (I work retail @ a clothing store)...their last day is tomorrow. Guess who that leaves? Me and another girls who are NOT managers ^^;; I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MANAGE THE STORE. no replacement in sight yet. Um...help?

I haven't heard from Hawaii yet....so I can't apply for dorms...or get a plane ticket ..... or pack.

not that I'm entirly sure how I'm going to PAY for it even if I do get in! (my parents can't help. I have 9 siblings. No joke.)

I am tired, stressed, and my neck hurts. I want to sleep for 102 days. then think about college (maybe)

Days like today I go "WHY did I want to go 1,000,000,000 miles away to college?" "WHY have I spent the last 3 years trying to earn enough money to pay my bills, save for college AND attend community college whenever possible (which wasn't often) to get the credits to transfer? "WHY am I burning myself out stressing over how to make it work when going means not seeing my family for like 3 years?" (yes, I know I am 23 and that should not be a big issue BUT THIS IS ME BEING A BABY.)

No one is making me do this, so i kinda do it alone....until I crash and burn*
*NOTE: this is me crashing and burning

I am sure this would all look better after a cup of coffee...but starbucks is closed. the world is conpspiring against me (ok - paranoia sets in.)

sarcasm aside, I probably just need a hug, a good book, and about 14 consecutive hours of sleep.

^^;; sorry for the long rant.

Well, I got my finals grades back:

Kanji 1 : A / 4.0
Japanese 2nd Term: A / 4.0
Cultural Anthropology: A / 4.0
Lingusitics: A / 4.0

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!

thank God - I am so releived! Hopefully this means I am accepted at Hawaii U


.....phew. Yokata!

ARGGHH....after spending 3-4 hours a day over spring break on homework, I'M STILL NOT DONE!!!!

I'm so tired - only got 4 hours of sleep last nighht, and right now I'm reading "Bilingualism in Development: Language, Literacy, and Cognition" for a rough draft of a research paper that's due tomorrow...plus I have a major test in cultural anthropology that I do NOT feel prepared for...

dang. it.

I just want to sleep....arrrggghhh...at least my Kanji test went well today....

ha ha...already at 200...lol

http://www.librarything.com/catalog/itonobara

and I did end up puting some manga in...for how can I leave out W Juliet? ^^ Hum...wonder how long it will take to put a dent in catologing ALL the books I've read? heh. lol

well, I decided to try it....half an hour later and after only looking up 5 authors....I have 100 books. Um....If I want to continue, guess I'll have to pay... ^^;;



*sigh*

So I was randomly reading someone's blog, and they mentioned catologuing the books they'd read on Librarything...and I thought "hum...that's interesting..." SO I googled it. Actually, I yahooed it, but that doesn't sound right...strange.

Well, guess what? The first 200 books are free, after that $10 and year (Unlimited) or $25 for life...

o_0 um...200????? that's IT???? Good Lord in heaven, I'd read more books than that by the time I was 10!!!!! When I was 11 I tried making a list of all the books I'd read (critera: books had to be at least 200 pages) and I lost count at about 1200 (I think I was around 1160 - 1300 when I lost count...but I wasn't near done yet) So seriously...200. That's it? I'm afraid to buy an account...I mean, if they think 200 is a lot, can you even put like 3,000 - 7,000 books on one of those lists? Cause I've read at least 3,000 - not sure how many exactlly (that's why I found this interesting) But I remember when I was reading AT LEAST 2 books a day, (generally 3, and up to 6 or 7). Hum...I should ask someone with an account....

though, come to think of it...coming up with the list would take A LONG TIME. (And that would be with leaving out the manga...because counting all the scanlated volumes I read over about a 2 month period when I was REALLY bored....well, the scanlated ones were about 25-30 gegabytes on my pc. Until it crashed. Dang it.)

Still, it's an intreging thought. And it got me to post something besides drama links/reviews. LOl ♥

I have GOT to stop doing this ....

bed time by 1 am from now on...

YEAH!!!!


I got the results back from my JAPANESE 121 class....I got a 98.5 on my midterm! ^^


...now if I can just talk Kumakura-sensei into some extra cretit to make up for my 1st chapter quiz, a 4.0 is completely do able ^^

I got an A on my first major Linguistics assn. - (an essay) ^^ ah, yokata!

In other news (lol) I think I'm going to give up stress for lent...^^;; not sure how that will work....^^;;

anyways, still just busy w/ work, school, ect. Oh! FINNAllY finished the last two episodes of "Pride"


!!!!!!!!!!


That . o_0 - no words....SO GOOOD!!!!!!!!! Can not reccommend highly enough.

and Halu's parting phrase on the drama? *LOVE*!!!

Aki: "Mabye..."

Halu:.....

"Must Be."


^^ You just HAVE to see it!

Barely hanging on ^^;;; - School, work, STRESS! so tired....I just want to sleep for like a year...

so yeah. I haven't even seen episode two of hyd season 2! What is the world coming to?!? lol.

um...not much point here...can't seen to formulate one...so bye.

Hum...Ya'll find find this a little strange - especially those of you who have known me for a while - but when I was little I was sure I would not live to 23 years old. Why? No idea. Maybe that just seemed way to old to think about - I don't know. I just know that I was pretty sure I would die before turning 23. I didn't think about it much as I got older, but I always kinda wondered - I mean, as a kid I'd been SO sure. And, this last month as my 23rd birthday approched, I thought about it a lot.
See, as a teen I was almost afraid to make plans for the future when I thought about it. Later I didn't really care, though there was always a little curiosity about whether I'd live past 23. This past month I mostly just thought - What if I DID die now? How do I feel about my life so far? You know what I realized? I'm actually pretty happy about my life so far. I mean, parts of it REALLY sucked (like the whole Marble blowup) and there are TONS of stuff I still want to do (hello, how can I die without my first kiss!!??!!) but overall - not bad. I have a family who loves me, good friends - old and new, a dream I am working hard towards, and the confidence that I am doing my best to live without regrets. I mean, I make a lot of mistakes - but I work hard to fix them. I have a lot of fears, but I'm doing my best to overcome them. They say you should live everyday like its your last. You know what? I think I'm at least part way there. I want to live so that if today was my last day, or tomorrow, or next year - I would go thinking "maybe I wanted more time, but - I guess I've been doing pretty good with what I had."

So, in four hours I will be 23. And after about 15 years, I won't have that every-once-in-a-while "what if?". What will I do differently? Well, nothing, I hope. I mean - you never know how many days you have left, so live each one like it is your last. Dream big, fight hard, die trying.

I cut class today - first time ever! i woke up, got dressed...and just felt so crappy I knew it wasn't even safe for me to be driving (cause as you know, I can be spacy when I'm NOT sick....). So I laid down on the couch...and didn't wake up for FIVE HOURS!!! Ya'll know how many people are in my family (if you don't, there are 12 of us) and its darn NOSIY. yep. I was so tired I slept in the middleof that for 5 hours.

Guess I really needed some rest! I'm feeling a little better now, but I think I'm gonna go into the doctors if I don't get better soon. It's really waering doing school and work and homework and commuting 2 hours a day, all while have this cold/influenza thingy that I've had for THREE WEEKS!

Now....back to sleep...zzzzz...zz...zzzz..z